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BEAUTY

“What is beauty? Let me tell you something about myself. Growing up, I was beaten to a pulp by other boys, never fighting back, and laughed at by girls who wanted to impress said boys. I was beaten for not having a father around, scorned for being ‘ugly’, jeered at for not fitting in. I was a vulnerable, perhaps effeminate, kindhearted little boy with an artistic bent. I was rarely without a nose bleed or black eye. Even teachers would laugh at me while children smashed my face on concrete. It is something I will always carry with me, no matter what happens, and something nobody will ever, ever understand - least of all me. I cried every night for so long, and so hard, and it doesn’t feel so long ago. As I grew older, I found the pattern continued, and I just kind of got on with things. When I hit 17, I started growing my hair. I lost my virginity to a prostitute because I didn’t think anyone would ever want me. I felt I was a disgusting specimen - I felt that my flesh was sickening. I felt that I could understand why nobody would ever want me. Then, suddenly, at the age of  18, there wasn’t a woman who didn’t want to sleep with me. What does it mean? It means nothing. It’s been a very long, cruel, sick joke, and my death will undoubtedly find itself the punchline.”

Karl Steiger, 2006.

“It always amazes me that so many beautiful people think they’re ugly while so many ugly people think they’re beautiful.”

Karl Steiger, 2008.

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